Sherlockian Matters: Toasting Trevor Bennet

A version of this appeared in latest issue of Prescott’s Press

Toast to Trevor Bennett EJ Wagner

I rise to pay tribute to Trevor Bennett- an excellent young man whose sacrifices in the interests of both science and family values have rarely been adequately appreciated.

At the end of The Adventure of the Creeping Man, Professor Presbury lies wounded and unconscious in the care of Watson and Trevor. For the world at large, the story ends there.

But the truth, although long suppressed, is this:

As the as the medical men watched ,the professor began to emit peculiar sounds-grunts and whoops and honks and chatters and barks and rumbles and hiccups-all typical of a crawling , climbing ,black faced langur.

Weeks, then months, passed, but the professor remained in this incoherent state.

It was evident that the serum he had ingested had caused a permanent and sinister simian change .

It was apparent to Trevor, that his prospective father in law would likely be an embarrassment at the marriage ceremony. (And even worse, would certainly never pick up the bill for the reception.)

Many young men would have abandoned the situation-but Trevor was made of stalwart stuff.

He discreetly had the professor moved to the laboratory of primatologist Lady Jane Goody.

That clever woman devoted herself to teaching the professor to communicate in sign language.

Many are the droll tales of her merry shrieks :

“No! Presbury ! No! Dirty, dirty!”

At length, the professor made enough progress to request, in sign, a suitable companion, and a winsome languress was procured for him.

Their descendants are many-and have contributed mightily to both medical research and the space program.

Several, even as we speak, are standing for political office.

All this was possible only because of the originality and high ethical standards of the very best of sons in law.

Ladies and Gentlemen-I give you-Trevor Bennett!

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